


Jurassic Newt

by Abhorsen44



Series: Jurassic Newt [1]
Category: Jurassic Park (1993), Jurassic Park (Movies), Jurassic World (2015), Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Jurassic Park, Alternate Universe - Pacific Rim Fusion, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-22
Updated: 2015-08-01
Packaged: 2018-04-10 17:44:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4401362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abhorsen44/pseuds/Abhorsen44
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What would Newt be doing if there were no Kaiju? Making dinosaurs, of course! This is the Pacific Rim/ Jurassic Park fusion that you probably never wanted. Newt is the genius scientist behind Jurassic Park, and when Hermann comes for a visit things inexplicably start going wrong. As cool as being eaten by a dinosaur would be, Newt's going to run for his life now, thanks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Welcome to Jurassic Park!

“Welcome to Jurassic Park!” Newt was beaming. He couldn’t believe that Hermann was actually here.

They had met at an undergrad conference at Cambridge on genetic modification 8 years ago. Hermann eagerly introduced himself at the first panel, having corresponded recently over a paper Newt had published. Halfway through the panel they were both evicted after knocking over 3 chairs, breaking the projector and making the presenter cry. The other scientists at the conference center learned to dive under tables or run and hide when they heard the approaching shouts, lest they get dragged into whatever argument was currently being debated. Raised voices, stamping, and the occasional ‘thwat-ow!’ of Hermann’s cane punctuated the hallways. Newt and Hermann spent half of the after-party shouting at one another and the other half drunkenly making out, which Hermann vehemently denies ever happened. They were banned from jointly attending the conference ever again, and were excluded from several other conferences in the following years. Newt felt it was worth it to be rock-stars.

Hermann stepped carefully from the jeep. “Welcome to Jurassic Park!” Newt chirped.

“You already said that, Dr. Geiszler.”

“Whaaat, but dude, Dr., seriously? I just wanted to make sure you got the full ‘Park Experience’.”

Hermann leaned against the jeep as he fished around in the backseat for his cane. “I have no doubt that I will be unable to avoid the ‘full park experience’, as you say, with you as my tour guide.”

“No sweater vest?” Newt asked hopefully. Hermann had apparently taken his warnings to heart and was dressed somewhat a cross between Steve Irwin and Clive of India. Lots of khaki. That did amazing things to Hermann’s butt, Newt privately admitted to himself.

“This IS the Caribbean, Dr. Geiszler.” Hermann turned to face him and his expression immediately twisted into annoyance, “WHERE did you get that AWFUL shirt?”

“Me Newt, you Hermann. Newt Newt,” Newt said, pointedly ignoring Hermann’s jab at his attire. If he couldn’t appreciate a shirt that pictured a triumphant T-Rex with extender grabbers at the end of both tiny arms shouting ‘UNSTOPPABLE’ then it was hardly his business. Even if he had picked out the shirt especially for Hermann’s arrival and washed it and everything.

“Newton,” said Hermann grudgingly. They already had this battle a year ago when Newt started calling Hermann ‘Herms’ and ‘Hermy-wormy’ until Hermann relented and called him ‘Newton’ instead of ‘Dr. Geiszler’. Newt was still waiting on the ‘Newt’, but compromise was the cornerstone of their relationship. No, that wasn’t true, science and shouting were the cornerstone of their relationship. Compromise in this context was actually somewhat worrying…

“Newton, stop staring at my ass and hold this,” Herman said, shoving a duffle bag at Newton and hauling his ginormous laptop bag over his own bony shoulder. Newton realized that he had, in fact, stopped talking and just sort of stared at Hermann’s booty as his inner monologue ran rampant. Damn it, Newt thought.

“Damn it,” Newt said.

”Indeed,” said Hermann, turning his head to hide his almost-smile.

Newt darted up the steps towards the visitor’s center as Hermann followed more slowly behind. Newt was chattering non-stop, Hermann interjecting the occasional wry comment that Newt circled back to hear before zipping ahead again. It was the slow season, which still meant a ton of visitors that Hermann had to try and weave around.

“Your lab isn’t here, surely?” Hermann shouted.

“Naw, dude, I thought you would want to go to your room first, and like put stuff away?” Newt said uncertainly, wary about bringing up accommodations after Hermann had violently reacted to Newt’s suggestion the Hermann stay at Newt’s bungalow. Newt had even SAID that Hermann could have the bed and Newt would take the couch, after which things had gotten kind of dicey and Hermann shrieked something nasty about Newt’s bed and parasites and Newt had ended up slamming his computer shut to end the skype conversation.

“That’s very… considerate.”

“…yeah.”

Newt glanced sideways at Hermann as they walked towards the check-in desk. “Do you just want to leave your stuff here at the desk and go straight to the lab?”

“Gott, yes,” Hermann said, practically throwing his laptop at Newt.

Newt checked Hermann in and asked them to bring his bags to the room. He trundled up behind Hermann, who was staring out the side window into the park, and shoved the keycard into Hermann’s trouser pocket. Hermann jerked and flung himself around, bumping Newt sideways and shouting, “What on earth are you doing?!”

“Keycard?” said Newt hopefully.

Hermann brandished his cane, thought better of it, and lightly bopped Newt on the shoulder. “If you could kindly refrain from ever doing that again I would be most appreciative.”

“You got it, dude. I can’t believe you’re here!”

“I can hardly credit it myself,” Hermann said dryly.

“Lab?”

“Lab.”

“TO THE LAB!” Newt flung himself towards the front door, then stopped, turned and shouted across the room, “I’LL GO GET THE JEEP!”

Hermann appreciated the thought and dreaded the idea of Newt behind the wheel of a motorized vehicle. He had been looking forward to this trip, but the actual reality of Newton in person was always a little hard to handle. Sudden horn beeps from the front of the building prodded him into motion, scowling and hobbling along at high speed. Newt was standing and waving inside a clearly marked park jeep. Hermann got to the vehicle and hissed, “Get down! Must you always make such a spectacle of yourself with your constant need for attention?”

Newt slowly slunk down into the driver’s seat as Hermann wrestled the passenger door open, muttering, “Thank you for requisitioning a car for me, Newton, it was super kind of you to make sure I didn’t have to walk all over the place, Newton, you’re the best, Newton.”

“Hardly,” said Hermann grumpily.

“Dinosaurs,” Newt said smugly, as if that somehow proved his argument.

“Amusement park attractions,” Hermann spat out, internally quite jealous of Newton and his funding. Mathrophysicists (as Newton like to call him) hardly got a hundredth of the budget or equipment the big corporate ‘applied sciences’ did. Hermann was quite frantic to see Newton’s laboratory, not that he’d ever tell him that.

Newton drove like Newton did everything else: recklessly but brilliantly. Hermann shouted apologies at the dodging tourists and whipped his head around as they passed a building labeled ‘LAB’ in big neon letters.

“Lab?”

“Naw man, that’s just for the tourists!” Newton hooted happily, “We’re going to my ACTUAL lab where the REAL kick-ass science occurs.”

“As if real science has ever come within a hundred yards of your lab,” Hermann sniffed.

“My heart! It’s broken!” Newt sobbed theatrically as he acted out a dramatic little death scene, unfortunately while still driving. Hermann shouted obscenities and threated to try and walk if Newton continued to not pay attention to his driving.

They somehow arrived at the lab in one piece. The ‘real kick-ass’ lab was a gigantic unmarked building in the restricted area. Hermann climbed shakily out of the jeep, trying desperately not to be intimidated. Newt leapt from the jeep and staggered around to Hermann, grinning crazily; “And it’s all mine! Well, mine and park security and central monitoring, training and processing. But that part?” he gestured wildly, “That cool bit there is all mine!”

Newton carefully grabbed Hermann’s sleeve and gently dragged him towards an enclosure at the far end of the complex. “We’ll take the back door, that way we won’t have to walk past Dennis.” Newt hissed the name and Hermann mentally bookmarked the man to either congratulate or trip down the stairs, depending. They were walking past a giant metal reinforced cage when Newt stopped and said happily, “Ooh, I love this part!” He turned to Hermann and said in a conspiratorial whisper, “We’re being hunted.”

Hermann was mildly alarmed. “I thought, aside from the one T-Rex, all of the park attractions were herbivores?”

“All of the OFFICIAL park animals open to the public are plant-y ones, but we strand out and fill in any and all DNA we come across, dude. We have created 48 different species of dinosaur, about 11 of which are carnivores. Myrtle –the T-Rex- is out in the park, 3 species never survived to adulthood – I just didn’t have enough of the original genetic material to work with, dude, and even a genius like me has trouble when-“

“Hunted, Newton?”

“- two others were nasty little buggers that we only hatched one batch of, man, those compys were tiny bastards, and can you imagine having a dilo as an exhibit? Let’s have a dino that spits acid at your face, the kids will love it, actually the kids probably would love it –“

“HUNTED, Newton?”

“-and 5 species that survived to adulthood, aren’t psychotically damaged, but not exactly ‘park friendly’, including,” Newton said with a flourish, gesturing behind Hermann, “the velociraptors.”

Hermann turned slowly, not having realized how close he had gotten to the enclosure. Three feet away from him was a dinosaur, what Newton had called a Velociraptor, but clearly these were far bigger and less feathery than the original, what on earth had Newton modified them with, they were –

The creature moved its head slightly, clawed hands flexing between the bars of the cage, and Hermann completely lost his train of thought. “Who’s my good princess?!” Newton cooed from next to Hermann, “Who is my pretty princess Blue? Is it you?! YES IT IS!”

  
Newt stuck his hand into his pocket and grabbed what appeared to be a dead rat. “Of course you would have that in your pocket,” Hermann whispered.

“Yes I have treats in my pocketses FOR GOOD PRETTY PRINCESS DINOSAURS! Who loves their daddy?!” Newton crowed as he tossed the rat through the bars. The velociraptor, Blue, caught the rat and gulped it down. Hermann was transfixed by the blue patterning on the scales of her jaw as she swallowed.

“Newton, she’s beautiful,” Hermann breathed, and Newt beamed with pride.


	2. Newt gets into trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Newt gets into trouble and Hermann falls in love with a baby dinosaur. Also, they meet Dennissssss.

“I SAW THAT!” came a shout from behind them, breaking the moment between Hermann and Blue.

The velociraptor slunk away into the foliage as Newt muttered, “Aw, crap,” and squared his shoulders. 

A man in a tshirt and ragged jeans cleared the corner and jumped a guard rail. Hermann gripped his cane tightly, mentally preparing himself to back Newton up as the man approached and stood far too close, leaning into Newton’s space. 

“One,” the man said, holding up a finger, “You are not supposed to be this close to the cage.”

“Ah-“ Newton started.

“Two: you are supposed to go through the front and check in with security instead of texting your intern and sneaking in the back.” 

“But Dennis –“

“Is a dick, granted, but you still have to check in. And three, the most important three you will ever hear, is STOP FEEDING MY RAPTORS SNACKS. Do you have any idea how much you are screwing up their training regimen? Don’t think I don’t know about the bacon, because I KNOW ABOUT THE BACON, NEWT.”

“Owen,” Newton whined, “how can you resist their cutesy little faces when they are all hungry and stalky?”

“I have seen them rip a whole pig apart in less than 3 seconds, they are not cute animals,” Owen said, finally relaxing and taking a step back. “Seriously, man, if you want to feed them at least let us know so we can track it, k?” 

“Fine,” Newton pouted. At Owen’s look, he started reciting; “All right, so Blue just got a rat, Echo and Charlie got part of my sandwich, one of those pork ones from the cafeteria, and one of the triplets forgot to feed the lab mice this weekend so they all got, like, a whole box of little pinkies.” 

“What day was that?”

“Oh, you want more than for today?”

“Newton!” both Hermann and Owen hissed, Owen with exasperation and Hermann with a strange sort of fondness. They looked at each other, and Owen stepped sideways to shake Hermann’s hand. “Owen Grady,” Owen said, “Dinosaur trainer and scientist wrangler.” 

“Dr. Gottlieb,” Hermann replied, amused. 

“Oh, man, really? Newt’s boyfriend? Dennis owes me five bucks, he didn’t think you were real.” 

“That bastard!” Newt screeched, as Hermann barked at the same time, “I’M NOT HIS BOYFRIEND.”

There was an awkward pause, then Hermann said, “We are… colleagues.” 

“Whatever, not my business, just keep THAT ONE,” Owen said, pointing to Newt with two fingers, “away from the raptor cages. And the soda labelled ‘not for Newt’ in the fridge, he is definitely not allowed to have any of that, he gets cray-cray.” 

Owen waved a casual hand as he leapt away, a sharp whistle causing a rustle of movement from the cage as velociraptors that Hermann hadn’t even known were there rushed to follow him. 

“He’s like a cross between Indiana Jones and a super-hot guy Jane Goodall, but with really sexy biceps,” Newt said wistfully. Hermann, who had very carefully NOT been thinking about Owen’s biceps, sputtered. Newton winked at Hermann and sauntered towards the back entrance of the building. “I thought Mr. Grady had said we were to go in the front?” Hermann said sharply. 

“Nah, it’s fine, he’s already told security and alerted the intern, we should be good to go.” Newt knocked a complicated rhythm on the door and grinned at the stressed looking girl with blue-tipped hair on the other side. “Mako!” Newt greeted happily.

“Never. Again.” Mako said sternly, bopping Newt gently on the forehead with a file before racing off down the hallway. 

“She worships me,” Newt said. 

“You are delusional.” Hermann replied. 

“Well, yeah, I make DINOSAURS,” Newt rolled his eyes. “You are going to love this, Hermann, they just upgraded the system to the new Jaeger 6, it’s like nothing you’ve ever seen!” 

Hermann raged internally, because although he had done much of the major initial coding on the Jaeger programs, he 1) only had a Jaeger 4 at his own lab and 2) was under a massively heinous non-disclosure agreement and couldn’t brag to Newton about his work. 

“Yes, well, I am anxious to see it.”

“You do look enthusiastic. You know, for you.” Newton said, pushing through a set of swinging double doors into a large laboratory. It was a bright, white and sterile room, aside from one desk surrounded by computer monitors and covered in toy dinosaurs and food wrappers. Newt led them unerringly towards the messy desk. Hermann could see Mako speaking urgently to one of three seemingly identical triplets at another station. 

“This is where we do all of the actual stranding and coding, filling in the missing genetic material with splices from other animals, running predictive models on what mixes will be viable, and we’ve actually just started on this one.” Newt turned Hermann towards the one section of the desk that was cleared off and typed something into a small keypad. Lights in the wall activated and the display slowly wavered into life. 

“3D modelling?!” Hermann whimpered, gently waving his hand through display and watching the DNA strand twist to follow his movements. 

“You know it! Reactive 3D modeling, I can hand splice something out and see exactly where the breaks are.” Newton made a complicated motion with his hand and a section of the display (which Hermann could see was a complex representation of DNA coding) broke off and was replaced with a nearly identical code. 

“How many of these do you have?” Hermann asked.

“There are two in this lab and one across the complex in the nursery.”

“Nursery?”

“Dude, yes, it is so sweet, do you want to see it?” 

Hermann looked longingly at the display, then turned sharply, “Why not.” 

“Excellent! Follow me!” Newt danced across the lab, almost tripping Mako who leapt out of the way with a truly impressive kick-spin. 

“Dr. Newton,” she said, “Have you decided on the draco novillii for the Pteranodon?” 

“I’m still looking into it, I was thinking of trying bats? You know, for the wing and membrane structure?” 

“Mammals? That is… not good. Birds, maybe, but even then it would be… difficult.”

“Are you trying to say it’s a stupid idea?”

“Yes.” 

Newt turned to Hermann, “She’s still mad at me because I made her look dumb in front of her boyfriend.”

“You spilled biogel on me right before my date!”

“How was I supposed to know? Nobody tells me any of the good gossip?! I need to know when my intern hooks up with Owen’s second in command,” Newt whined. 

If looks could kill Newton would have been dead years ago from Hermann’s almighty death stare, but Mako was giving him a run for his money. 

“Aaaaand let’s go to the hatchery,” Newt said, scurrying away. He whispered to Hermann, “I’ll introduce you to Raleigh later, he’s actually pretty cool and Owen says he’s a good guy, I just need to mess with him ‘cause he’s dating Mako.” 

Hermann hummed noncommittally, following Newt down the hallway. 

A large man barreled around the corner, nearly running Newt over. “Denisssss,” Newt hissed. 

“Ah, Newton,” the man said, out of breath and sweaty, “I had to see if the rumors were true.” He looked Hermann up and down insultingly, saying, “I can’t tell if it’s a robot or not.” 

Newton actually growled, grabbing Hermann and drawing him up next to him. “Hermann, darling, this is Dennis Nedry, he runs part of the park network and security or something.” 

“Hermann Gottlieb,” Hermann introduced himself coldly. 

“Wait, seriously? Nice work on the InGen model. It’s nice to have an actual scientist in the building,” Dennis sneered. 

Newton was practically vibrating with anger, and Hermann wrapped an arm around his waist before replying, “The InGen model is outdated crap that I worked on in undergrad, but I wouldn’t expect a button pusher to know the difference. Excuse us.” 

Hermann led Newton away down the hallway and through the first doorway he could open, which turned out to be a supply closet. “That man is utter trash, Newton, I thought you were exaggerating but honestly!” Hermann ranted. Newt looked at him with big eyes, before abruptly leaning up and kissing Hermann briefly on the mouth. Hermann stopped talking and they stared at each other awkwardly. 

“I didn’t know you worked for InGen,” said Newton, breaking the silence. 

“Well,” Hermann coughed, attempting to recover from the excess of awkwardness, “Misguided youth. Hannibal Chow has an awful lot of funding, and when he first started InGen it seemed legitimate.” 

There was another pause and Hermann was having trouble focusing on anything other than Newt’s face. “Shall we?” he said, gesturing towards the door.

“Oh. Right,” said Newt, opening the door and heading back out into the hallway. 

“So… Pteranodons?” 

“Right?! How cool would that be?! I mean, I was totally yanking Mako’s chain with the bat thing, the draco strand is definitely the best way to go, but now that she mentions it we haven’t really tried bird DNA.”

“I’m not sure that flying dinosaurs is the best idea, Newton.”

“You never know until you try!” Newton started to pep up again, and Hermann was relieved. He didn’t know how to deal with a depressed Newt. Hermann tried for sarcasm; “Wonderful. Like bats, only they eat people. Charming.” 

“AND I SHALL CALL HIM BARTOK AND HE WILL BE MINE AND HE WILL BE MY BARTOK,” Newt screeched, flapping his arms and diving down the hallway. 

Hermann shook his head, following Newt as he burst through another set of double doors; “AND HOW ARE ALL MY BABIES TODAY?!”

None of the people in labcoats looked up from what they were doing, but an excited chirp came from one of the incubators. “There she is, there she is!” Newton said excitedly, gloving up as quickly as possible and throwing another pair at Hermann. Hermann carefully pulled on the latex gloves and reached Newt just as he was picking up a tiny squirming dinosaur. 

“Owen says I get to name you, yes he does, as long as it’s not stupid and starts with the letter F.” Newton stared adoringly as the tiny creature viciously started chewing on his finger, “My little Falafel.” There was a snort from one of the lab techs. 

“Do you want to hold her, Herm?” Newt looked around but Hermann was standing entranced in front of what appeared to be a hatching brachiosaurus. 

“Oh yeah, man, I knew they’d be hatching another batch of these guys today. It was so wet this season that a bunch of them caught lung infections and it was, like, the saddest thing ever – ouch! Naughty Falafel!” Newt walked up next to Hermann, wrapping the bottom of his t-shirt around his bleeding finger. 

Hermann’s heart gave a peculiar lurch as the tiny brachiosaurus head poked out of the shell, looking around blearily. “Hi little guy,” Newt whispered. “Hey Hermann, why don’t you help her with the shell?” Hermann looked sharply at Newt, who nodded encouragingly, and since none of the other scientists rushed in to stop him he gently reached out and started removing shell pieces. The baby dino rocked unsteadily and butted her head against Hermann’s fingers. 

Hermann was so completely focused on the tiny creature that it took him a second to realize that alarms were going off in the building, and he had just a moment to cradle the baby brachiosaurus to his chest before all of the lights went out.


	3. Say the magic word

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Newt and Hermann try to get someone to tell them what is going on, and Hermann's past comes back to bite him in the ass. This chapter does not have enough dinos.

“WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKING FUCK?!” Newt bellowed in the dark next to Hermann. Hermann could feel the baby brachiosaur wiggle around and cradled her gently to his chest. “Quiet, Newton, you’re scaring her.”

“THAT IS NOT-“

“Newton Geiszler I mean it.” 

“That is not the issue here, Hermann,” Newt whispered angrily as the red emergency lighting came on, “I have to find out what is going on!”

Hermann reluctantly handed off the tiny dinosaur to one of the rushing lab techs and followed Newton into the hallway, disposing of his gloves on the way. 

There were a large number of people running in different directions with varying levels of panic. Hermann was shoved into a wall and batted wildly with his cane. A small shape dodged and grabbed his sleeve. “Follow me, Dr. Gottlieb,” said Mako, leading him towards a security door that opened when they approached to reveal an alarmed Newt. “Don’t DO that,” he shouted at Hermann, before grabbing at him and hustling the both of them inside. Hermann was confronted with a giant wall of monitors, rows of concerned looking people talking urgently into headsets, and a very handsome giant of a man marching towards them. 

“This is Hermann, he’s with me,” Newt jumped in before the man could say anything. 

“That seems to be a personal problem,” the man said, “Regardless, he is not cleared to be in this room.”

“Marshal Pentecost, sir, dude, I –“ Newt was interrupted as in impressive amount of Australian invective came from one of the nearby desks, and a scruffy looking man slammed the phone down and turned to them.

“The gates are open, THE BLOODY GATES ARE OPEN STACKER.”

“That’s impossible,” Newt inserted himself into the conversation, “Aside from the electronic overrides all of the gates on this side have manual locks.”

“And they were opened, look, look at the monitors, look outside the bloody building for christsake.”

“Monitors to 8, 5, 12 and 2,” Pentecost barked, and the monitors shifted to what was clearly just outside the lab. The gate for the raptor enclosure was open, and clustered around it was Owen and four other similarly dressed people. 

“How many, Herc?”

“All of them, Stacker, all of them.” Herc looked defeated. 

“Can’t we shut down that part of the park? Electronically?” Newt asked, “Like zombie containment procedure style? We have backups for that, right?” 

“We do,” Pentecost said, eyes still on the monitors, “But whoever shut us down blocked our access to the system.” 

“Somebody did this on purpose?!” Newt squeaked, and everyone turned to look at him. “What?” he said defensively, “I once shut down an entire airport trying to update my phone.” 

Hermann shook his head as the team of people began scrolling back through the footage; “How are we able to see this if security was shut out?”

“Manually tapped the camera systems, got it up right before you walked in. That Raleigh kid is right clever with the tech, even beats Chuck at Wii.” Herc replied, then added, “I’d be losing my mind if Chuck wasn’t at boarding school, freaking dinosaurs loose in the park, what a shitcan.” 

“Speaking of shitcans,” Newt mumbled at Hermann, “his kid is a nightmare.” 

“Sir!” One of the computer techs spoke up, and everyone turned to the screen. It showed Newton’s nemesis fiddling with Newton’s computer. 

“Dennissss,” Newt hissed, “That’s what he was doing by the lab, that fucker stole my data!” Newt got even more vocal as they watched Dennis grab a selection of samples from the lab cooler and unlock the raptor gate before climbing into a waiting jeep. “MY BABIES HE STOLE MY BABIES!” Newt was howling, at this point draped over the unfortunate computer tech who had brought up the footage. 

“Who is driving the vehicle? Who opened the other gates? You may have to worry about more than your precious animals right now, Newton, everyone on this island could be a threat!” Hermann jabbed at Newton with his cane. 

“Valid point. Check the other gate footage,” Stacker ordered. He turned to Herc, “How many guards do we have on the gates into the main park?”

“We are currently evacuating about 8,000 people, Stacker, I have pulled every person to help who isn’t trying to chase down fucking dinosaurs.” 

“Evacuating?” Newt said, “Is that necessary?” 

“We have no central security system on an island full of loose dinosaurs, yeah, we are getting the dinosaur food off the bloody island! Why is he here?” Herc looked like he was about to unravel. 

A tinny voice started chanting, “Uh uh uh, you didn’t say the magic word, uh uh uh, you didn’t say the magic word, uh uh-“

They all hurried over to a desk on the far side of the room. “What have you got, Tendo?” The snappily-dressed tech that Pentecost addressed said, “Sir, I don’t know, I rebooted the security system, attempted several secure log-ins and one highly dubious one, and then this came up when I started getting close.” 

‘This’ was a picture of Dennis shaking his finger and a looped recording.

“Dennisssss.” Newt hissed again. 

“He was so into the new Jaeger program,” Tendo said, tapping away quickly at the keyboard, “I should have been suspicious when he actually wanted to do work on the system.” 

“Make it stop,” Newt whined.

“Can’t,” Tendo said, “Same reason I can’t get into our system.”

“It’s a response channel, not the main block, go through command 1Z2AR and it should reset.” Hermann said, leaning over Tendo’s shoulder. 

Tendo turned the chair fully around, “So who are you, again?” 

“I-“

“Cause it sounds like you kind of know what the hell is going on, and if that’s the case then your butt should probably be in this chair.” 

“It won’t give you access to the security system, you won’t be able to do that from any of the designated computers, it’ll just,” Hermann gestured towards the screen, “Shut that off.” 

“How do you-“ Newton started, but Tendo was already steering Hermann towards the chair in front of the computer. Hermann hunched over and typed in a series of commands too quickly for Newt to follow, and the computer fell blessedly silent. Hermann continued typing, screens popping up and disappearing. Tendo and Newt watched in fascination, and even Pentecost and Herc stopped their quiet discussion and watched them. 

“It’s as I thought,” Hermann said, “The block is through your entire system, you would have to go in remotely, remove the block, scrub it out and then access it again here once it reboots.” 

He looked up at Newt, whose lip was trembling. “YOU!” Newt shouted, pointing at Hermann, “I KNEW IT YOU WORKED ON THE JAEGER CODING AND DIDN’T TELL ME.” 

“There is such a thing as non-disclosure agreements,” Hermann said, “And anyway, the virus isn’t Jaeger, it’s an InGen make they adapted to the Jaeger.”

A hand was suddenly on the back of Hermann’s neck. “And how would you know that?” asked Pentecost in a gently threatening voice. 

“He programmed for InGen. In undergrad.” Newt piped up. 

“Hannibal Chau does not let college students design his security system.”

“He let one,” Hermann said exasperatedly, ducking out from under Pentecost’s hand. 

“And you magically are a genius programmer who worked on both Jaeger and InGen coding, who appears on the exact day shit goes down?” Tendo asked skeptically. 

“Gottlieb,” Herc said suddenly. “Son of a bitch, Lars Gottlieb, head of R&R at InGen.”

“My father’s miraculous ability to fuck up my life extends even here, I see,” Hermann said as Tendo waved security officers over. 

\---

In short order Hermann found himself locked in a supply closet with a loudly protesting Newt. Hermann’s leg was aching, and he sat down on a pail of what appeared to be industrial cleaner. Newt continued to throw himself at the door. 

“Hey HEY HEY HEY HEY!” Newt screeched, “AT LEAST LET ME CHECK WITH THE LAB TO SEE IF FALAFAL AND DAISY ARE OK BASTARDS.”

Newt’s head thudded against the door. “Daisy?” Hermann asked. 

“I know she’s your brachi but she looked like a Daisy, ya know?” 

“You named the brachiosaurus?”

“Well, not officially, but it’s probably ok.” 

“Oh, Newton,” Hermann sighed as he leaned back against the shelves, and sighed again when he heard sniffling. “I came here to visit you. I had nothing to do with any of this nonsense, and I can probably fix it if we can get to my laptop.”

“I wasn’t thinking anything. I – really?”

“Really really.” Newt came and sat on the ground next to Hermann, leaning his head against Hermann’s good knee. Hermann gave into temptation and slowly starting carding his fingers through Newton’s ridiculous hair. “My father insisted that I work for him at InGen in exchange for going to the college of my choosing, rather than his alma mater. I gave two years of my life to that abomination of a company. I haven’t had anything to do with it since, certainly not since I’ve met you. I know you may not trust me, but-“

“I trust you,” Newt said. 

“Ah. Then it probably won’t help to mention that I’m pretty sure that the driver of Dennis’ jeep was my brother Dietrich?” 

Hermann was unceremoniously shoved off his pail and cuddled into Newt. “Nobody tells me anything,” Newt mumbled.

Hermann, inelegantly sprawled half on top of Newt, replied, “I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned my wichser vater to you before, you just don’t pay attention.”

“Lies,” Newton murmured, snuggling Hermann closer. 

“As charming as this is,” Mako said from the doorway, “Perhaps we could go now?” 

Hermann elbowed Newton in the kidneys in his haste to get up. He grabbed his cane and clutched it to himself as he stammered, “Ah, Miss Mako, I-I-”

“Bold move, Mako, breaking us out. Haven’t you heard? We’re two renegade mad scientists plotting world domination.” Newt said from the floor. 

“Get up. Faker.” Hermann said, embarrassed. 

“Mad scientists, yes. World domination, possibly.” Mako said determinedly, “but never traitors. Dr. Newt would not do such a thing.” 

“And me?” Hermann asked. 

“Dr. Newt’s boyfriend would also not do such a thing.” 

“THANK YOU, MAKO!” Newt lunged at Mako who, due to her extensive experience with the Newt attack-hug, neatly sidestepped and led Hermann out into the hall.

“We will find Raleigh and then I will get us to your laptop and Dr. Newt’s boyfriend will reset the security.” Mako stated as she hurried them through the lab. 

“You heard that? How much did you hear? HOW LONG WERE YOU THERE?” Newt was out of breath but still yelling. 

“I heard enough,” Mako said, stopping by the exit, “Now please make with the quiet.” 

Hermann, realizing they were about to go outside, leaned towards Newt and asked softly, “Newton, what is the percentage on our chances of being mauled or eaten by one of your genetic abominations?” 

Newton furrowed his brow and said, “I don’t know? Pretty high, I guess? Like 83%?” 

Hermann took a deep breath, held his cane tightly and said, “Fantastic,” as they stepped out into the sunlight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MORE DINOSAURS NEXT CHAPTER, PROMISE.


	4. Run, you idiot!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mako leads Newton and Hermann out into the park where they encounter dinosaurs and annoyed park employees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is for my newly acquired platonic AO3 spouse CelticArche, who likes it when Hermann whacks things with his cane and knows WAY more about dinosaurs than I do.

Nothing ate them immediately, which was a relief. 

Hermann and Newton followed Mako around the building, reaching the front road also without being eaten. Hermann relaxed his vigilance slightly, which made his seizure when Mako’s com pinged that much more hilarious in Newt’s opinion. 

“The compound is on lockdown. Mako. I know you hear this, answer me immediately.” Stacker’s voice was no less terrifying coming through the com. 

Mako deliberately turned off her belt unit as Newt offered, “Tough luck, I guess he’s mad because you were supposed to be guarding us, huh?” 

“Something like that,” she said, dodging to the left as a startled looking adolescent Amargasaurus came blundering through the underbrush.

“Aroooohglflndr!” the dino bellowed.

“Aroooohglflndr!” Newt shrieked. 

“Gott im Himmel!” Hermann yelled, leaping in front of Newt and whacking the young Amargasaurus over the head with his cane as hard as he could. Twice. The dino whined and lumbered backwards away from them. 

Hermann, breathing heavily and quite unwilling to take any more shit from anyone, especially not Newton’s genetic hodgepodge excuses for a pets, stomped forward through the jungle, dragging Newt by the collar and changing trajectory only for Mako’s gently spoken directions. 

They heard the sound of a motorcycle ahead of them and Mako leapt out in front, disappearing quickly through the foliage. Hermann slowed and untangled his hand from Newt’s shirt. He looked over his shoulder and saw Newt grinning goofily at him. 

“What?” Hermann said irritably.

“You saved me. I mean, it was a little herbivore dino, but still. My hero!” Newt leaned forward for a kiss that was interrupted by the sound of a scream from the direction Mako had headed. They heard a rustling from behind them and Newt turned quickly, knocking Hermann down protectively as the unmistakable call of a velociraptor heralded the arrival of Blue. 

Newt froze. It was one thing to feed and coddle and love them from behind the safety of reinforced steel bars, it was quite another to be six feet away and standing between toothy, painful death and the man you love. Newt started suddenly, looking sideways at Hermann who was trying to scramble backwards and stand up at the same time. 

“So dude, I think I love you.” Newt said. 

“Run, you idiot; dammit, I can’t run with this thrice bedamned leg, Newton, GET OUT OF HERE YOU IDIOT RUN!” 

A flash of movement from their left caused Newt to whip his head around. “Bad Charlie?” he tried to say. Blue slunk forward a few feet, sniffing. She let out a chirping growl and leaned in, inches away from Newt’s face. 

Newt stopped breathing, his heart racing, certain he was going to die. Admittedly, being eaten by a dinosaur was probably the coolest death ever, but he kind of wanted to live. And Hermann! What about Hermann? 

Blue nuzzled against Newt’s shirt, nearly knocking him over. She chirped again, and Newt let out a shaky breath. “Who’s my pretty pretty princess Blue? Who scared the fuck out of her daddy, yes she did? You wants a rat? Who’s a clever girl?” 

“Newton?!” came a strangled call from behind him, and Newt turned his head to see Hermann on the ground with a curious Charlie licking his face. 

“I think I peed a little,” Newt said, scratching Blue under her chin. A whistle caused both of the dinosaur’s heads to perk up, and they crashed off through the woods. Newt’s legs locked and he fell over next to Hermann. “Hey.” 

Hermann looked awful, he was pale and shaking, and his hair was sticking on end and covered in velociraptor spit. “I totally love you, Herms,” Newt said. 

“YOU FUCKING LUNATIC WHY DIDN’T YOU RUN?!” Hermann shakily stood up and started kicking at Newt. 

“Ow?” Newt said. Hermann was legitimately trying to damage him. “Dude, what? I’m never gonna leave you.” Newt stood and grabbed Hermann, who struggled and kept kicking. Newt wrapped tighter around Hermann when he realized that Hermann was crying. “Ok, so save the world now and then make out afterwards, yeah?” 

“Ha. Ja. Kommen sie.” Hermann wiped his face, awkwardly hugging Newt.

“Still charming,” said Mako, taking a picture of them on her phone. 

“GODDAMN IT MAKO LET ME HAVE MY MOMENT.” Newt refused to let go of Hermann when he tried to pull away, which made following Mako more difficult. She led them into a clearing where Owen was tying a tourniquet onto a pretty damaged looking ranger. A young man jogged up to them with an eager, earnest puppy dog expression. 

“What was that scream?” Newt asked. The man looked embarrassed, “She just jumped out of the woods at me, I was not expecting her.” The man, whom Hermann was fairly certain was Mako’s Raleigh, reached out to hold hands with Mako. 

“Wuss,” Mako beamed at him. 

“What about him?” Hermann asked, nodding his head at the wounded ranger. 

“Someone,” said Owen, “Freaked out when we found the raptors and pulled a gun. Someone learned a valuable lesson about not shooting at my goddamn dinosaurs. Someone has to go to the nurse’s office now and think about what he did.” The man looked embarrassed. 

They loaded the wounded man into the back of a jeep. Mako turned to Newt, “I am sorry we cannot go with you now, Raleigh and I have to take Mr. Muldoon to the hospital building. Miss Blue was a little… enthusiastic.” 

“Nah, it’s totes cool, the gate is like right there, right?” Newt said, pointing. 

Raleigh gently moved Newt’s arm about thirty degrees to the left. “Sure,” he said. 

Everyone’s com units crackled to life as Stacker’s voice filled the clearing, “There has been a breach at the wall, I repeat, the park area has been compromised.”

Owen spoke into his wrist com, “And the evac?” 

“Done, except for a few stragglers. You should be clear but proceed with caution. And tell my daughter to turn on her com and call in.”

“I didn’t know he had a daughter, is she at the park? Do we need to find her?” Newt asked. Everyone looked at him pityingly. 

“I’m adopted,” Mako offered. 

“NO ONE TELLS ME ANYTHING,” Newt screamed as Hermann dragged him towards Owen.

“Does anyone know how the dinosaurs got through the wall? The gates were guarded, yes?” Hermann asked.

“Yes. We’re going to check the perimeter and escort you and Newt here to the visitor’s center. They have your laptop at the desk.”

“Escort us? Aren’t you supposed to detain us?” 

Owen looked tired. “I don’t really have time for bullshit right now, if Newt says you’re cool, you’re cool. The sooner you fix this the less likely it is that someone will shoot my dinosaurs. Mako says you have a plan?”

Hermann nodded. Riding pillion behind Owen on his motorcycle, Hermann wished his plan was more than ‘get to the laptop’. Newt screeched and hooted happily with the raptor squad racing beside them as they sped through the clearing towards the wall into the park.


	5. Through the wall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Kaidonovsky's are tourists and the velociraptors play peekaboo.

“Huh,” said Owen.

“Huh,” said Newt.

“Grrrng,” said Blue, happily devouring a passing hutia. 

They had passed through the gate and were inspecting the wall from inside the park. The dinosaurs had not gone through any of the gates. They had not climbed the walls. They had not scaled the trees or jumped over or any other ridiculous, improbable feat. 

“I owe you five bucks,” Owen finally said to Newt. 

“I told you those Oryctodromeuses were burrowers, man. After the first den we found!”

“I know, but they don’t even have, like, digging claws,” Owen made clawing gestures with his hands, “I thought they had just moved into abandoned dens.” 

“What,” Hermann asked, emphasizing the ‘t’ sound, “is going on?” 

“Ok, so there are these little herbivores, Oryctodromeus, and they dig out like these huge dens with their heads, and I asked if we should put down some chicken-wire or something and the ranger team,” Newt finished, gesturing at Owen with his head, “said it was fine.” 

“So these Oryctodromes,” Hermann clarified, “they –“

“Oryctodromeus,” Newt said. 

Hermann glared at Newt and continued, “These STUPID bloody DINOSAURS dug burrows under the wall that were large enough for other, bigger ones, to get through?” The hole on this side of the fence was huge. Delta had already wiggled through and kept popping her head back up out of the hole, chirping, and then disappearing to the other side. Newt was not helping matters by shouting, “PEEKABOO!” every time she did it and then laughing hysterically. 

Owen was muttering into his wrist com. He kept glancing up at Newt and Hermann, shaking his head, and seemed to be arguing with whoever was on the other side. He slowly began walking away from them, talking louder and starting to gesture. Three of the velociraptors followed. 

Hermann leaned against a tree. Delta popped her head up out of the ground again and chirped. 

“PEEKA-“ 

“MUDAK!” a blonde blur body-slammed the peeking raptor, and Delta gave a startled hiss and disappeared. 

Newt began to move forward but was stopped by a gigantic buff blond man in an improbable Hawaiian shirt who said, with a very strong Russian accent, “Do not worry, small man, we will save you.” 

“We don’t need saving!” Newt explained as Owen jogged over, shouting, “STOP THAT!” at the body-slamming woman who was now trying to pull Delta out of the ground by her tail. She and Owen got into a bit of a slap fight before Owen whistled and Blue darted forward. The woman backed away warily and she and the blond man stood in front of Newt and Hermann, shielding them from the velociraptors. 

Newt snuck his head underneath the Russian’s arm and said in a baby voice, “Oh noes did the bad lady hurt yous?! Poor widdle Delta, come here honey,” and started making kissy noises. Delta growled sulkily and refused to come out until Owen whistled again, and Blue hissed. 

“I apologize for him,” Hermann said stiffly to the confused Russians. 

“Da. These are… pets?” The woman asked, shaking Hermann’s hand and patting him on the shoulder. 

“Aleksis. Sasha.” The blonde man said. He didn’t indicate who was who. Hermann, still recovering from the forceful shoulder pat, didn’t ask. 

“NOT pets,” said Owen sternly, “Very dangerous animals.” He gently rubbed Delta’s head, who sniffled and snapped peevishly at Aleksis. “Naughty.” 

“Right. Naughty.” Aleksis said, looking at Sasha, who shrugged. “Americans are crazy.” 

“We’re not the ones who body slammed a dinosaur!” Newt stated. “Are you guys new? You should have learned that in the training course. I mean, they probably don’t come right out and say ‘no body slamming the raptors’ but they probably should, can we add that to the syllabus, Owen?” 

“I burned the syllabus,” Owen said, “And these aren’t park employees, these are tourists.” 

“Da!” Aleksis beamed, “We are on our honeymoon.” 

“Shouldn’t you have been evacuated?” Hermann asked; at the same time Newt said, “Dinosaur honeymoon, that’s awesome!” 

“We were… otherwise engaged,” Aleksis said delicately. Sasha chimed in, “And by the time we were done fucking behind the maintenance shed everyone was gone and all the creatures were loose.”

Owen coughed uncomfortably and said, “Ok guys, new plan. I evacuate the tourists, you two take this,” and he handed Hermann his backup communicator. 

“Oh dear,” said Hermann. He cleared his throat and spoke into the com, “Good afternoon, Marshal Pentecost.” 

“Dr. Gottlieb,” Pentecost said. Newt leaned into Hermann so he could hear and Owen loaded the Russians onto the bikes. 

“I have been informed,” Pentecost spoke, “That I was perhaps mistaken about your intentions.” 

“Right!” said Newt, “And we want a written apology! And an apology cake!”

Hermann, without meaning to, said, “Pie.” 

“APOLOGY PIE.”

There was silence through the com, then, “Dr. Gottlieb, I would appreciate you not letting Newt speak during this conversation.” 

“Sir.” Hermann nudged Newt, who rolled his eyes but stayed silent.

“I understand that once you retrieve your laptop you will be able to repair our security breach? What is the timeline on this and what support do you require?” 

“It- it could take anywhere from half an hour to a day. I know what coding they used but I don’t know how many systems were compromised. I will need a - a fast internet connection and someone on your end to link me to the system and reboot once everything is cleared.”

Newt mouthed ‘Tendo’.

“Tendo would be preferred,” said Hermann. 

“Done,” Pentecost said, “Tendo has the conn. Now move.” 

Newton stayed on the line with Tendo as the now overloaded motorcycles flew towards the visitor center and Hermann’s waiting laptop. The park was strange and empty, abandoned. Newt loudly mourned the fact that they wouldn’t be able to get Olive Garden for dinner as planned. They parked outside the hotel and Owen waited just long enough to make sure that Hermann’s laptop was there and to shepherd the terrified bellhop who had been guarding it to the bikes. As the raptor squad zoomed away towards the docks Newton remarked sadly, “We will never look cooler than we did motorcycle riding with raptors. HOW AWESOME WAS THAT?! I need to tell Owen that our next step is to teach them parkour. MOTORCYCLE PARKOUR RAPTOR SQUAD.”

“And now you know what to name your band, I suppose,” said Hermann absently, unloading his laptop. 

“DUDE YES. Tendo, we got net? Also, do you play bass guitar?” 

Tendo spoke through the com, “Hotel wifi is still up, Alison says the best connection is in the kitchen, for some reason. No guitar, my man, but I play a mean banjo.” 

“I will think about it,” said Newt, following Hermann through the restaurant towards the kitchens. Newt perched on the steel kitchen counter and started stuffing breadsticks into his pockets. Hermann ignored him and plugged his laptop in. He stabbed at the power button and prepared to save the world.


	6. The End is Near

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will our heroes be able to foil the dastardly Dennis's plot? What is the deal with Hermann's brother? Does anyone actually get eaten in this story? STAY TUNED, FOLKS!

“Do you want a breadstick?” Newt asked. Hermann absently took the offered breadstick. “Wait, was this one in your pocket? The one that had the dead rat earlier?” 

“I don’t think so?” said Newt, rummaging around in the industrial refrigerator. 

Hermann didn’t want to chance it. His fingers were flying across the keyboard; he would occasionally murmur a string of numbers that Tendo would respond to either positively or negatively over the com, adjusting their attack strategy. 

“So –“ Newt said, chewing on a head of lettuce, “what I don’t get is why you’ve got to do this on your laptop? Couldn’t you and Tendo team up at HQ?”

“Three things Newton,” Hermann said; “One: stop talking with your mouth full, you child. Two: Any computer affiliated with the park was infected and deliberately blocked. If I tried anything from any of your computers it would shut me out and probably explode. Three: I already have parts of the Jaeger coding on my laptop, I can compare the infected areas and replicate rather than start from scratch. Just… stop being distracting. Go stand watch or something.” 

Hermann didn’t notice whether Newton had left or not. After 20 minutes of hectic coding and 5 minutes careful double checking, he asked Tendo to restart the system. 

“Hold on to your butts,” Tendo said, and the lights went dark in the kitchen. There was a bang from outside the door and the lights flooded back on. “Newton?” Hermann called. “ShhhH!” Newton came scurrying through the door; “So you know how you said to go keep watch? Well, Dennis showed up with that guy who might be your brother and they were shouting at each other and I think he shot Dennis.”

Hermann felt sick. Dietrich had always been his father’s favorite, but to shoot someone (even a dick like Dennis) did not sound like the brother he remembered. The sound of a door being flung open and footsteps sent Newt and Hermann scurrying behind the central kitchen counter. 

“Karla says hello,” came a voice that was definitely Dietrich’s. Hermann hands started shaking as his brother continued; “When I told her about your little biologist friend she said that you should invite her to the wedding.” 

More footsteps. “Come now, Hermann. I see a laptop. I see a disturbing number of breadsticks. I can hear that little mouth-breather boyfriend of yours.”

Newt let out an offended squeak and Hermann sighed. “Yes, well, thank you for ruining my vacation.” Newton helped him up and they turned to face his gun-toting lunatic of a brother. 

“We wouldn’t even have thought of being here if you hadn’t mentioned it to Bastien. It was easy enough at that point to contact that pathetic loser Dennis to gain access; speaking of, I see you have already managed to fix Dennis’s ridiculous security hack,” Dietrich shook his head and then gestured towards the door with the gun. “This way, if you please.” 

“Thank you for not shooting my laptop,” Hermann said on his way past. 

“Ah. Well, it was a Christmas present.” 

“This is weird. Is this weird?” Newt whispered at Hermann as they walked into the lobby, “Oh god, is that Dennis? That’s a lot of blood. Urk.” Newt started hyperventilating. 

“A biologist who doesn’t like blood? Shocking,” said Dietrich, following them. 

“Animal blood, lab blood, fake blood, all fine. Blood that is supposed to be in people, people blood? Not so much.” 

“Idiot wanted to come back for his phone. He didn’t tell me that, of course, said he had important files stored here. It was rather infuriating when I realized that he had slowed our entire operation because he had forgotten his fucking phone.” 

“So you shot him?” 

“Wellllll,” Dietrich said expansively, “I probably would have shot him anyway. He was kind of a dick.” Picking up a large steel case Dietrich said, “It is rather lucky that you are here, actually. With these samples,” he gestured with the case, “we will be the only ones making dinosaurs. Chau keeps talking about military applications,” Dietrich rolled his eyes, “Amusement park monstrosities.” 

“Don’t you talk about my babies like that!” Newt shouted, stomping forwards. “It doesn’t matter what you do with those! I will make more! Better ones! With lasers! Hannibal Chau can kiss my ass!” 

“Perhaps I should have clarified; we will be the only ones making dinosaurs once YOU are dead.” Dietrich leveled the gun at Newt. 

Hermann’s arm struck out of its own accord, his cane slicing through the air. “Ow?” said Dietrich, shaking the hand that unfortunately had not dropped the gun. “Bastien said you had gotten attached, but I could hardly credit you with such sentiment.” 

“I thought Bastien was with NASA,” Hermann said, maneuvering himself in front of Newt, cane at the ready. 

“Contracted out to NASA. Super-secret death lasers from space. You know Bastien.” Dietrich looked at him consideringly. “I suppose you really will have to invite us to the wedding.” 

The sound of glass breaking prodded Dietrich into motion; “Must dash. Don’t know what sort of things will be attracted to the scent of blood, and I don’t really want to stick around to find out. Good luck!” He ran out of the side door and leapt into the waiting jeep, driven by a deadly looking woman with a shaved head. The jeep dodged around the whipping tail of the dinosaur that was gnawing its way through the front glass window to get to Newt and Hermann. 

Newton clutched the back of Hermann’s shirt. “So your brother is kind of like an evil James Bond?” 

“He wishes,” Hermann said, backing them away from the approaching theropod. “Newton, since we are about to be eaten by the stupidest looking dinosaur to have ever existed – “ 

“Hey! She’s supposed to look like that,” Newton interrupted, “Concavenators have triangular humps on their backs and quill knobs on their forearms that just happen to make them look like Big Bird and Quasimodo had a baby and then ran over it a few times by accident.” 

“REGARDLESS OF THE IDIOTIC APPEARANCE OF OUR APPROACHING DOOM, NEWTON, I just wanted to say, um,” Hermann stuttered, “With what you said earlier, I also, well, wish to express....” 

“Love you, too, baby,” said Newt, closing his eyes so that the last thing he saw was Hermann’s face leaning in for a kiss. Newt’s eyes flew open at the ear-shattering roar that echoed piercingly off of the hotel walls. 

“What fresh hell is this?!” Hermann croaked as the Concavenator whirled around to face the approaching threat. 

“That was Myrtle, I’d know her voice anywhere!” 

“Oh goody,” said Hermann, “Now we will be eaten by a T-Rex.” 

“Slightly cooler than being eaten by a Concavenator?” 

“There is that.” Hermann clung to Newt as Myrtle the T-Rex thundered into view. 

“No.” said Hermann. 

“Holy shit,” said Newt. 

Backlit by the sun, the imposing figure of Stacker Pentecost astride a T-Rex was clearly seen as he rode Myrtle into battle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter is an afterward that takes place about a month later. Thank you all so much for the positive feedback!


	7. Happily Ever After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We check back in with Newt and Hermann a few weeks after what is being referred to as the ‘Practical Security Drill’ but Newt called, ‘The-Day-Newt-Ran-With-The-Raptors-And-Also-Dennis-Is-An-Asshole-Even-Though-He’s-Dead-Day’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a small afterward to the main story.

“Hey! Guess what came in the mail today!”

It was a month after what was now referred to as a ‘Practical Security Drill’ but Newt called, ‘The-Day-Newt-Ran-With-The-Raptors-And-Also-Dennis-Is-An-Asshole-Even-Though-He’s-Dead-Day’. No-one else would call it that, but Newt was persistent. Stacker, now an internet sensation after Newt had snapped a picture on his phone of the epic dinosaur battle and posted on the Park’s Twitter page, had badgered Hermann until he had agreed to do a complete overhaul on the Park’s security. For an exorbitant salary, of course. It costs a lot to move to the Caribbean. Hermann had made noises about moving into the apartment complex behind the visitor’s center, but Newt nipped that in the bud by bribing the leasing office to ‘lose’ the paperwork and having all of Hermann’s stuff redirected to his bungalow. There was a huge fight and Newt ended up sleeping under the porch for a couple of nights, but now he and Hermann we officially a ‘thing’. 

Hermann did not answer Newt’s question. He tried again, “HEY GUESS WHAT CAME IN THE MAIL TODA-“

“WHAT.”

“No, guess!”

Hermann glared at Newt. “My birthday present, I suppose, even though I told you not to get me anything you juvenile weirdo.” 

“What? No, man, look!” Newt clawed at the brown paper package, ripping the paper off and proudly heaving the giant canvas above his head. “Tada!” 

“That… is hideous.” 

“THIS IS ART! Come on, I had this specially commissioned from my buddy Josh who does fan-art.”

“It is NOT going on our wall – wait, was that why you were hammering in the study?”

Newt flung himself down the hallway, canvas triumphantly held over his head as he raced towards the study. He carefully hung the picture up and stepped back to beam at the painting of Pentecost astride a roaring Myrtle. 

Hermann stomped into the study and headed straight for the picture. He stopped, glared at the painting, turned to glare at Newt, then reached out and gently straightened the canvas. 

“I knew you’d like it!”

“It is still hideous and now I shall have to do all of my reading in the kitchen,” Hermann sniffed. 

“Lies,” said Newton, snuggling up next to Hermann and smacking a giant kiss on his bony chin. “Wait, did you not like it because you thought I had forgotten you birthday? Dude, I started your birthday present MONTH’S ago. WAIT HERE.” 

Newton dashed out of the room and Hermann heard some banging and a frustrated, “GET IN THE BOX.” Hermann heard Newton stomp down the hallway and stop right outside the door. 

“Ok, so close your eyes!” Newton called. 

“No.”

“DO IT!” Newt screeched, peeking around the corner.

“Oh no, Newton, what have you done?!” Hermann moaned as he saw the large computer box with holes punched in the side. 

“No no, I know you’re allergic to furry things,” Newt gently set down the box on the coffee table in front of Hermann. Hermann looked at the box with a combination of worry and anger. Neither of them moved. 

“Open it!” said Newt. Hermann still didn’t move. The box squeaked, starting to wiggle, and Hermann reached towards it when it looked like it was going to tip off the coffee table. He opened the lid. 

An adorable tiny brachiosaurus peered out at him. “Cheep?” she said curiously. Hermann couldn’t resist picking her up and cuddling her to his chest. 

“Hermann, meet Daisy 2,” Newt whispered. “Happy Birthday.” 

“Newt, I – we can’t- we can’t have a baby dinosaur as a pet! Not once she starts growing, how would we feed her, house her? Take her back to the park!” Hermann did not look ready to give up the brachi yet, though, nuzzling her and scratching her tiny chin. 

“It’s totally cool, she’s actually almost full grown, I’ve been trying to design pygmy dinos, like as pets. You just love Daisy so much I kind of had to.” Hermann still visited the now-adult Daisy in her pen and liked to sneak her treats when he thought Newt wasn’t looking. “We haven’t quite figured out potty training yet, sorry.” 

“You genetically redesigned an extinct species … for my birthday?” Hermann looked flabbergasted. 

Newt was smug. “What’s the use of being a genius if you can’t hatch your boyfriend a pygmy brachiosaurus for his birthday? Plus Stacker totally funded the research, turns out that EVERYONE wants a pet dinosaur.” 

Hermann, who had started rocking Daisy absently, stopped suddenly and said, “Newton, if you bring any kind of miniature velociraptors into this house you will be sleeping under the porch indefinitely.” 

“But where is Falafel 2 supposed to sleep?!”

The screaming match that followed was only stopped by a voracious make-out session and the agreement that Owen might like a pygmy raptor for his birthday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR PLAYING ALONG!


End file.
